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Loneliness is a complex problem of epidemic proportions, affecting millions from all walks of life. Verified by Psychology Today. Author and blogger Chris Ryan guest hosted the Savage Love sex advice column this week. It's a great read, and a wonderful plug for Ryan's new book, Sex at Dawn. The first letter he answered was from a woman whose husband wanted to watch her have sex with another man, a request she fulfilled. But, as she described the enjoyment her husband had at watching her Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife having "after" sex with her, with the other man's ejaculate inside her, the wife became concerned that maybe her husband was gay.

Ryan and Savage's responses normalized the desire and behavior, suggesting that the husband was heterosexual, and was driven by the biological impetus of sperm competitionand voyeurism.

I like Ryan's responses, especially the nonpathological view, but think that this is a very complex behavior, with a lot more reasons behind it. So, I thought I would use this posting to explore these issues, and invite discussion of what these various reasons might be.

Wives simply do not often or unprompted go to their husbands and request they have permission to have sex with other men. I will tell you that in the research for my book, I heard lots of varied reasons for this desire from various husbands. Some of the reasons were nice, and some Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife not so nice.

I think a discussion of this phenomenon deserves consideration of all the reasons and motivations. So - here you go - my list of the motivations, based upon my research, behind why men would be interested in watching their wives with other men:. If they are used to such a voyeuristic process in their sexuality, there is some legitimacy to suggesting they may incorporate it into their marital sexuality.

Watching your wife have sex with another man may be a next step, or progression, from watching yourselves have sex by having a mirror on the ceiling during sex, then using a video camera during sex, and then finally watching one's spouse with someone else.

Many men told me "My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me, I'd rather watch her having sex than some porn actress I don't know. After watching their wife with another man, the husband is prompted biologically to have longer, more vigorous sex, has a shorter refractory period between erections, ejaculates harder, and his ejaculate contains more sperm. Nearly every couple I interviewed told me that after an episode of the wife having sex with another man, the couple felt like they were "in heat.

Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife, such men have been beaten, ostracized and ridiculed, and regarded as weak, "sissy men. Many of the men expressed that through their wife's open sexuality, the couple was actively and consciously rejecting social pressures to suppress female sexuality, assert monogamy and patriarchal power.

This played out in many different dynamics. Sometimes, bringing a man to bed with the wife was a pretext, a bait and switch if you will, for the husband to then engage sexually with the man as well.

Sometimes, the husbands were Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife concerned about being seen as heterosexual, but they Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife an awful lot of time looking for well-endowed men for their wife.

To my mind, a man who is that focused on the size of other men's penises really doesn't qualify as all that straight. I did see a number of men who reported that due to physical complaints, they weren't able to be as vigorous in bed as they and their wives would like. While the wives by and large were happy with things as they were, the husbands often felt their wife's loss of sexual satisfaction more strongly than the wife themselves, and were motivated to encourage the wife to sleep with Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife men.

The Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife record for male orgasms is about 26 in a hour period. Per Sherfey's research, women have documented as many as orgasms in a single hour. I saw many men who reported that their wives were highly sexual beings, with a greater sexual capacity, and it simply turned the husbands on and pleased them to be able to see their wives sexually satisfied, at a degree that a single husband couldn't match.

I also speculate that there is a degree of vicarious experience here - by being a part of the experience, the husband gets to vicariously experience what it's like to have that greater sexual capacity, and identifies in a strong manner with his wife and the essence of female sexuality in a way that most men never experience.

Masochism was named after him. Leopold posted ads in German newspapers of the day, looking for "energetic young men" to befriend and pleasure his wife. Check out Craigslist, and you'll see Leopold's modern counterparts Leopold's interest in the experience was specifically the humiliation aspects, of being cuckolded, treated as weak, lesser, and not a real man.

Like those who seek the Taboo, the cuckolds often seek out a strong SM flavor, where the husbands are dominated, belittled and degraded. It's not always about the money. A friend, and a wife interviewed in my first book, told me that when she was working as a manager at a brothel, one of the women always called her husband on her cellphone, before bringing a man back to her room for a "party. The financial part is a piece that can't be ignored, as it has been around for a long time. In England, men would sometimes set up their wives to be seduces by a man, so that the husband could then sue the man in court.

In Florida, in the 's, the Sheriff husband of the "Housewife Hooker" hid in the closet videotaping his "nymphomaniac wife" with other men notably republican politicianswhom Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife husband then blackmailed. Many of the men I interviewed got a thrill, a sense of being "king" that they had a Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife who was so sexy, that other men wanted to be with, but who ultimately came home with him, the husband.

It made the men feel powerful and successful, that they had such a sexy wife. Some of these men talked about treating the wife as a whore, as a piece Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife meat, and "taking her down a peg.

A common fantasy is that the practice of wife-sharing starts when a husband catches his wife cheating, and finds himself strangely turned on. This might sometimes, though very, very rarely. But, it is at root of Dan Savage's past responses to these men, a response that Savage and Ryan didn't repeat in this column. Usually, Savage quotes the "eroticization of fear " hypothesis, that these men so fear their wife's infidelity that they eroticize the fear, in order to reduce the anxiety, Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife it by sexuality, until they have turned the fear into a sexual fetish.

In my book, I encountered a single man who described this scenario. It might happen, but it's a lesser answer than all of the above.

Hopefully through their partnership, Christopher Ryan opened Savage's eyes to the wide range of other explanations. I'm becoming increasingly convinced that David P. Unfortunately, the parameters need some tuning. The bot spits out 'depression' and 'bipolar' at slightly too high a frequency.

Otherwise, it's almost convincing. It was a very well researched, well written article. I feel that these are such sad relationships though I don't believe men who can do this really love their wives I feel love is the basis of an entire relationship I am a guy that thoroughly enjoys my wife sleeping with another man.

At least, I have so far. And, I deeply love my wife. Please, don't assume that those two things are mutually exclusive. I suggest that, rather, they are mutually reinforcing. I so love my wife that I want her to be intellectually, spiritually, and sexually fulfilled.

When she's happy, I'm happy. For the record, she's expressed total Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife with our sex life--this is just 'something more. And I have had sex with others under similar circumstances. In the many conversations my wife and I have had about being in an Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife marriage" we've both agreed upon a number of things: We stray at most only a couple of times a year, and she always with the same man-a close friend of mine, and the wife of my "girlfriend.

It's just another part of life. Morality, for us, is associated with honesty, and trust--not Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife. We do have our troubles, but they are not related to the occassional presence of other people in our beds. In fact, the happier we are, the more likely we are to have sex with others. Other than the "open" part of our marriage, I think you would find us to be a model marriage. Not ideal, just model. We talk about our problems. We talk about our goals.

We help each other out. We share responsibilities according to our aptitudes. And we work to make our kids lives very happy--but not TOO happy they have to work for something!

The fact that we can share our lives with others, I think, may be unusual but it is not in the least unhealthy-and certainly not Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife. Pal, if you want your wife to be happy, especially sexually, buy her a vibrator; don't loan her out. Relationships are not about orgasms; they're about being reliable partners in life. Yes, it may be erotic to watch your wife or girlfriend being bred, but you cuckolds are not being as fulfilled as you could be if you weren't an emotional basket case.

Most women will Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife to and want to be with a man who has balls and you cucks don't. Women want a man, a real man, not a wimp - that's just primal nature calling.

As long as you let her humiliate you, then you fall into the category of useless wimp and no woman worth her salt would want you unless you make a ton of money and she keeps you around to pay the bills while she exposes you to a raging case of STD.

If you're with a woman who is into humiliating you through her sexuality, drop her like Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife big anvil, because she is likely more damaged than you are. Then find a backbone, a shrink, and some confidence; you'll be surprised at the number and quality of women you'll attract when you get to be a manly man.

This is an old article so i dont know if I will get a response. My husband is interested in sharing. First of all let me describe him, he cooks, cleans, wonderful father, works hard and Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife family really well.

He calls me all the Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife and tells Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife he loves me, lets me be independent. I have done it and I hate it. I feel like if a husband loves his wife he couldnt share. I will not do it anymore and he claims he doesnt want if I don't. It not worth ruing our marriage, bc he loves me. A part me wants to so i can please him to his fulest, but i won't bc I feel empty, uses and Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife. Part of me want to leave him and find a guy who Watching Another Guy Fuck My Wife cheirish me and never even consider that.

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